Combining my love for handwritten correspondence (and USPS) with my dedication to civic engagement, I've been writing postcards to potential voters.
You can do this too. By visiting postcardstovoters.org or Vote Forward.
Comparison
Comparison is the thief of all joy. Whether we are talking about Labor Day weekend plans, or e-learning setups, or if your tiny backyard garden generated any edible tomatoes this year, your mental health is affected by comparing.
Instagram and other social media especially makes this hard. Instead of formulating the thought “I'm really glad that family could take in that beautiful sunset together”, it is easier to think “We haven't seen a sunset as a family all year! How do I find a place to catch a good sunset in this city?” Comparison makes it harder to be happy for others and content with ourselves.
Coupled with that is the current state of the pandemic, where different folks have different levels of access to safe places and different comfort levels being outside of their own homes. Seeing others can make us question our own choices or be disappointed in our own abilities.
In short, maybe give yourself more grace. Try to feel thankful for your own experiences and happy for others. As we know, they are likely feeling the same about you at some level.
Take care of each other.
Update your priors
These days we are all learning more salient information at a constant clip. Information about the spread of viruses, systematic racism, climate change, how a pandemic exacerbates inequality. If you aren’t learning, you aren’t paying attention.
But learning isn’t quite enough, we have to update our priors. This is Bayesian statistics shorthand for modifying your prior beliefs and knowledge based on new data. It’s okay to change your viewpoint, in fact, it’s necessary.
Bayes was an 18th century Presbyterian minister who also figured out a lot of math. Including an incredibly simple but powerful algebraic formula for the probability of events based on the probability of other events. But the key here is weighting those events/observations. As you learn more, you decide how much weight to give the new knowledge. You don’t delete or replace the old data, you just weight it differently.
Recently, Bayesian statistics got a headline in the New York Times for its use in epidemiology. (And the article includes a quote by my Harvard professor, Joe Blitzstein.) Among tech folk and data scientists, it’s also popular lately because of AI - including the type in driverless cars.
However, it turns out to just be good framework for a logical mind. Learn more, update your beliefs, then go learn more, repeat.
Ablaze
The other day a dear friend sent me a video of Alanis Morrissette performing a single from her new album on the Tonight Show. It was virtual, obviously, and the kicker was she sang while carrying her daughter on her hip.
We are all making sacrifices lately, and those with children bear a particular burden during the pandemic. And our children see the changes and the feel the stress, and our anxiety pervades their minds too. So Alanis’s newest song spoke to me very personally, acknowledging realities and identifying her priorities. She reminds me of my mission as a mother to my kiddos, as she sings about her own:
To my boy, my precious gentle warrior,
To your sweetness and your strength in exploring,
May this bond stay with you through all your days,
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze.
By encouraging her three kiddos that they can persevere even when conflict arises, she has encouraged me. Through all our trials this late summer into fall, and into who knows how long, may I remember my mission.
Something More
Today The Chicks released their new album Gaslighter, and I listened to the whole thing in one go this afternoon. And it was amazing. I’d forgotten how much I missed them. And any strong female group in country.
After the album was over, Google continued to play country music, and Sugarland came on with “Something More”. And it’s like 15 years ago they knew that someday, in the middle of a global pandemic, an over-worked mother was going to need to hear this. Maybe you need to hear it too.
Moving on.
Today I begin a new job.
I am now the Director of Digital Product Management at Herman Miller. I'm beyond excited for the role and the opportunities it brings. I feel tremendously privileged to be celebrating this personal accomplishment right now when so many are facing such loss and hardship. And I'm looking forward to working at Herman Miller directly, a storied company full of strong leadership and talented teams.
And today I leave Maharam.
Maharam is essentially where I grew up. I turned from a hot-headed sales coordinator to a slightly-more-patient manager of strategic projects. For me, Maharam molded what it means to show up at a job you are proud of, for a company you believe in. Down to every detail, I've learned how to be a part of a design company, and to continually keep pushing for progress.
For twelve years my Maharam colleagues have seen me grow and accomplish all sorts of feats, personally and professionally. They've thrown my baby showers, and celebrated my promotions, been my sounding board and my shoulder to cry on. They've accepted my worst and championed my best. I will miss them.
Luckily the move to Herman Miller, as the parent company of Maharam, is more of an apartment change in the same building than moving out entirely. In fact, I'll report to the same office! And I'm looking forward to a new challenge, leading a large team in a very progressive and fast moving area of the business. But, as my boss, the president of Maharam, said to me, “It’s hard leaving a place that holds so much of your heart.”
Answer the door
There are many hard truths we are facing right now as a society. Make sure you are opening your door, and your mind, to let them in. Find the facts, the history, the reality, and process that. And then let it guide your actions. Whether it's adhering to proper behavior in a pandemic, confronting systematic racism, opposing the deadly threat of the police state, fighting for basic healthcare coverage for all people, or what have you: answer the door.
(Note: “A prolific and widely respected poet, Lucille Clifton’s work emphasizes endurance and strength through adversity, focusing particularly on African-American experience and family life.”)
Juneteenth.
White folks,
Learn about Juneteenth,
Celebrate the freedom of all,
then Examine your own white history and white privilege,
and Dismantle the systems of oppression.
Let me know if you want to talk about it, or take action together.
Best,
Kristen
Justice for Breonna
In Louisville this March, Breonna Taylor was gunned down by police in her own home. Plain-clothes police officers, without a warrant, entered her home and opened fire. Read the full story here.
Not only were these officers at the wrong home, in the wrong apartment complex, and in the wrong neighborhood, the man they were looking for had already been arrested by their department early that day.
The officers involved have been placed on administrative leave, but there have been no arrests, and no charges.
Too long the deaths of black women have gone unnoticed. We must demand justice.
What you can do:
Sign the petition at https://www.standwithbre.com/
Write to the KY Attorney General and Mayor of Louisville, demanding charges be brought against the officers. Send a card in honor of Breonna’s birthday, which would have been this week.
Cards can be addressed to:
Office of the Attorney General Daniel Cameron
700 Capital Avenue, Suite 118
Frankfurt, KY 40601
Mayor Greg Fischer
527 W Jefferson St #600
Louisville, KY 40212Support the protestors in Louisville by contributing to their bail fund.
Keep bringing attention to Breonna Taylor’s story, and the story of so many black women killed by police. Follow and promote hashtags #justiceforbreonnataylor #sayhername and #listentoblackwomen
Additionally, follow black women who are centering black women’s inequality within the racial justice movement. Feminista Jones is a great person to learn from, including her book “Reclaiming Our Space: How Black Feminists are Changing the World from the Tweets to the Streets”. And Brittney Cooper is an author and activist who has written several great books, as well as this must-read article in Time.
Do the work.
The card I'm sending to the KY Attorney General, demanding charges be brought against the officers who killed Breonna.
Amplify
This week we see the results of hundreds of years of systematic racism exploding into protests across the country (and globe). The latest killing of a black man at the hands of police in Minneapolis sparked these embers that have long been burning. But for some white folks, this is one of the first times they are confronting the realities of the situation, how their lived experiences are very different from their black neighbors.
If you are a white person, you might feel outraged, overwhelmed, inundated, paralyzed by not knowing what to do. At the beginning of my journey, I did. Get over that. There are two ways to do the work of dismantling systemic racism. One is deeply personal - you must get to your own roots and see your own privilege and how you benefit, how you operate within this system, and get uncomfortable with the “blessings” you have reaped. The other is to amplify the voices and the work that has come before you. Do not center yourself. This isn’t about you.
Amplify, amplify, amplify.
I started my learning with Catrice Jackson’s work. She refuses to coddle or give accolades to white women, which is necessary for us to learn the hard truths about our position and privilege. Please also seek out the words and work of Layla F. Saad (Me and White Supremacy), Rachel Cargle’s The Great Unlearn, Britt Hawthorne (#antiracistbookclub), Ijeoma Oluo (So You Want to Talk About Race), and the many others who are doing their best to inform and educate. Diversify your feeds. And please be sure to pay these folks for their work - teaching us is not their burden.
Donate. Donate your money (which was earned through your privilege), donate your time, donate your resources. Find an organization doing the work in your neighborhood or community, or look for national organizations that are directly helping divert funds from police into communities (like Campaign Zero) or provide bail funds for black folks awaiting trial. Look into voter suppression in your community, and donate to Fair Fight. Amplify these organizations that are already doing the work.
If you can protest, get there. Put your white privileged body between police and black bodies. Amplify the black voices by standing silently with them.
You should already be patronizing minority and women-owned businesses in your communities. But if you are not, do your research to find them and support them.
Have the hard conversations with your white family and friends, and importantly, yourself. (Do not burden your black friends with your own outrage at this time, but do check-in with them and support them.) But it does not end at conversation. You must be a part of the solution in your community. Think through your decisions, use your privilege, and concede your space.
There is work to be done.
Your story
Lots of opinions circling these days. But it is important that we distinguish those as individual viewpoints, not facts. A good way to do that is to frame these views as a story, an anecdote. This makes it personal, and individualized, and much less aggressive. It also allows the listener to say, “that isn't my experience.” And many people like hearing a story.
A gift to bring
I've been listening to a lot of the Indigo Girls during the quarantine. They are the type of familiarity and kindness that I need right now. A bit of a gift to myself.