I wrote this for my father, who dresses in overalls and is no stranger to work.
(Quote by Thomas Edison.)
And is also a great dad and opa.
Homework
There are daunting tasks, and ones more mundane, ones we dread, and ones we can’t imagine they’d ever be finished. In a workplace there are things we think colleagues would be better qualified for, or to-dos that seems a waste of our time. But at the end of the day, some of these we cannot get out of. We must accomplish them on our own. That is when it is best to remember: if you can’t get out of something, get into it.
This fits into two parts.
So many things are boring or tedious and don’t seem to offer any tangible or interesting reward. But that might be because we aren’t paying enough attention to it.
Or, tasks are daunting because they don’t reveal an obvious path forward. But they are just waiting for us to take the first steps in untangling it.
In both instances, in our distracted spaces, it might just take setting aside dedicated time to work on this task alone. Either use that focus to knock it out, or create a plan for its completion. Whether that thing is doing QA for a new software release or picking up all the kids toys from the living room floor, trying to not multi-task is key to swift accomplishment. It might not always be enjoyable, but it will be more efficient, and perhaps we will find something interesting.
It’s a bit like the song lyric, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”
Tell yourself
Much of how we think about ourselves and the world is simply what we choose to believe of all the things we hear. It's a good reminder to be putting good out into the world, so that others are hearing encouragement and positivity. But it's also a lesson in the way we speak to ourselves and our inner dialogue. You get to control your own narrative. The last Darling magazine newsletter contained this gem: Tell yourself a good story about your day.
(And maybe share it with someone else?)
Mother’s Day
Not everyone is out brunching with mimosas and bouquets of flowers today. If you are looking for an alternate way to celebrate or support mothers, consider donating to Every Mother Counts. EMC is a non-profit organization dedicated to making pregnancy and childbirth safe for every mother. Every Mother Counts informs, engages, and mobilizes new audiences to take actions and raise funds that support maternal health programs around the world. Founded by Christy Turlington Burns, after suffering complications in her own 2003 childbirth, and upon learning that over 500,000 women die each year during childbirth of which 90% of the deaths are preventable). EMC currently supports programs in Haiti, Uganda, Malawi, Indonesia, and the United States.
And be sure to take care of yourself, and check in on others.
2019 write_on
Today is the last day of April, which means it is the last day of National Letter Writing month, ending the #write_on challenge.
I had a lot of time to reflect while writing correspondence this month. For me, it is a bit about self-care. It gives time for me to put thoughts on a page and express myself to others. But mostly it's nurturing relationships; it's sending gratitude and praise; it’s acknowledging people and their accomplishments. Some of my letters were quick postcards and others long-form missives, some were sent with small gifts or tokens, some accompanied articles or books I was hoping the recipient would find interesting. All of them were sent with thought and attention for the recipient.
Everyone has ways in which they best express respect, affection, devotion. Truly, sending mail is my love language.
I love picking out a beautifu letterpress card or finding the perfect boxed stationary at the local store, but when I get the chance I often handletter my cards.
The envelope is the first hint of the care inside, so I like to make it special.
Was happy to find these stamps for my favorite young dancer.
Already looking forward to next year’s challenge!
Adventure Kit
With two kiddos and an entire urban jungle to explore, we don’t often stay home on the weekends. Now that the kids are a bit older, I’m happy to not lug a diaper bag or backpack full of “necessities”. But I do keep my bag stocked with some items that come in handy.
First, I have a bag that I just take when I go out with the kids. It is separate from my regular work bag or date night purse. I have a pouch that moves from bag to bag with me. (It contains wallet, cards, small notebook, lip color, eyedrops, headache medicine, extra flash drive, and some brush-on sunscreen.) But in almost all of my weekend photos, you’ll see this bag slung across my shoulder.
The bag I use is LeSportsac Deluxe Shoulder Satchel, in Rifle Paper Print (which is no longer sold, but still available on ebay). It has plenty of pockets to keep things organized, and isn’t too large to haul around. It also wipes clean, and isn’t heavy to begin with, like a leather purse might be.
Inside I keep several essentials.
Waterbottle. This type by Zak is quite small and so fits standing up in the bag. It is mostly leak-proof, and with the fold-down straw, all family members can drink from it. They don’t make generic ones, so you’ll have to choose your favorite character - Target typically has a big selection.
Wipes. Mostly just for hands these days, but also the occassional little kid emergency. While I don’t like Huggies wipes much, I have one of their “clutch” cases, that I refill as needed. Though often times these days I can get by just throwing a few individually packaged wipes in the bottom of the bag. (Also collect individually packaged wipes from restaurants for this purpose!)
Sunscreen stick. Every spring (sunscreen is most effective within first 12 months after opening) I buy several of these, and stash them everywhere - my bag, my first-grader’s backpack, the car, the bike bag, etc. Great for touch-ups or when it was cloudy that morning and you forgot to put it on at home.
Snacks. An entire outside pocket of my bag is dedicated to snacks. Some combination of yogurt covered raisins, fruit leathers, granola bars, peanut butter crackers and/or gummi snacks. (My kids have recently decided they no longer like Annie’s gummies and will only eat Welch’s.) Depending on the season, might also throw in some leftover mini candy canes or Valentine’s candy.
First aid supplies. This isn’t super elaborate, mostly for scraped knees and elbows. A couple bandaids (various sizes and/or characters) and a spray antiseptic/antibiotic in a snack-sized ziploc bag or old Altoid’s tin.
Handkerchief. When the kids were littler, I’d tuck in a flour sack towel for spills and wiping up, but now I can get by with a handkerchief. I make mine out of old oxford shirts that I just cut in a square and sew the edges, but bandannas are notoriously cheap at craft supply stores. Use this as a towel or napkin, a placemat for snacks, or wrapping up leftovers (or anything else you don’t want touching other things in your bag!) to bring home.
Reuseable shopping bag. All the obvious uses apply here, but I also use it to corral all of the kids coats/hats/gloves when they inevitably shed them. Additionally, if you are headed to a museum with a coat check, consolidate all your coats to this bag to speed up the process and only need to pay for one item.
Small toys. Mostly used for when we are waiting somewhere, typically at a restaurant. I try to pick up items from the Target dollar store when something catches my eye. Magic Ink books are usually a hit. One trick is to keep figurines here that you know your children enjoy, and only let them play with them out and about. My youngest asks for the couple Transformers I keep in my bag every time we go to a restaurant, which prevents him asking for something I don’t want to give - like my phone.
Occassionally I add items to this. If our destination is a museum that has a kids play area with water, I’ll roll up an extra tshirt for each of them in a gallon size Ziploc bag. If I know we are going to end up at a playground, sometimes I throw in some Matchbox cars to race down the slides. But these items provide the base needs for most of our adventures.
What do you keep in your bag? What else do you recommend?
Better version
My colleague, Natalie, and I were having our regular end-of-day text exchange (she works in NYC and I'm in Chicago), and I said I hoped she felt better soon as she'd been under the weather. She said “I hope to be a better version of myself tomorrow.” And then quickly followed it with “an everyday goal”.
And it really is.
What more concise and appropriate goal is there in the journey of self than incrementally bettering oneself each day? As it also allows you room to grow - if you didn't meet your own expectations in a circumstance or with a reaction today, try to do better tomorrow.
A bit like John Wayne’s epigraph:
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.
Write_on prep
“Greetings to the reader” in Latin. Often abbreviated L.S.
“Greetings to the reader” in Latin. Often abbreviated L.S.
April is one of my favorite months, because it is National Letter Writing month. And that is a holiday I can fully support.
The founders of the write_on campaign thought the same thing. So every year they promote letter writing through partnerships with Egg Press and Sakura, encouraging people to write 30 letters in the 30 days of April. It started in 2014 and I joined up in 2015. The return on this investment has been full! Turns out people love to get mail!
The most daunting thing for many people is knowing who to write to. Here’s a small prompts list to get you started.
Send a second thank you for an item you use often so the giver knows how much you continue to enjoy it.
Wish an elderly neighbor (or a neighbor from where you used to live!) a happy spring
Send an Easter card to the youngest reader in your life - include stickers!
Who do you know that has an April birthday? Send a card in the mail!
Thank an elementary school teacher that you still think of fondly.
Tell an author how much you liked their article / book / play.
Contact your representatives with an issue that means a lot to you.
Tear a clipping out of a newspaper / magazine / catalog and send along (just like grandparents used to do!)
Don’t send that text! Write it out longhand instead.
Tell an almost-graduate the best advice you’ve received. Wish them luck.
Let me know if you have others!
Education
I just paid off my college debt and I’m celebrating. While I certainly use my degree generally, I don’t use it specifically. And I’m glad to not be reminded of that paying a student loan every month.
quote by JW Goethe
DIY Holiday
Creating and sending thoughtful packages is my love language. Those who know me can expect to receive random letters and packages throughout the year, but especially around the holidays. It's also a way to exercise a bit of creativity in my off hours.
Throughout the year I collect ideas and keep thoughts in a notebook or a Pinterest board. I try to skew toward homemade or locally purchased items, or finding a book that I think the recipient will love. This year we also received our Kickstarter Glow Forge, so we were able to make some really unique “mass produced” gifts to hand out to my family. More on that later.
But for some extra special kiddos, I crafted some kits that were a blast to put together. The first was a letter writing kit for a kindergartner. I was happy to pass along my love for snail mail in the form of an easy step by step kit.
The directions page listed the steps to complete, with the corresponding numbered envelope in the binder. A zippered pouch kept some fancy pens and pencils handy.
It was fun to raid my stationary stash to find an array of notecards that a 6 year old might like to send!
The dollar aisle at Target always has great thank you note options.
Every kid loves stickers! And allows for some freedom with blank notecards that they can decorate themselves.
Preprinted address labels for family and friends make it easy for youngsters who might not be able to write a legible address on an envelope.
One of the best part of sending a letter is picking the perfect stamp!
I also made some activity kits for some kiddos (including my own!) that travel easily. It was a combination of some activities I put into repurposed Altoids tins, and some store-bought activity books and writing utensils. And the personalized canvas pouches can of course hold any number of additional items.
Spraypainted Altoids tins (I used a metal primer) can be further decorated with washi tape.
One tin contained tangrams. I used sticky back magnet paper to create the shapes from a simple template found online. And on the inside of the lid printed some more common puzzles.
Another tin contained a variety of colors of Plus Plus blocks. These are a great open play activity for toddlers and up - sorting, building, etc. And an off-brand variety can occassionally be found in the Target dollar aisle.
The whole kit came together in a zipper pouch, which I customized for each kid with fabric markers.
And of course, wrapping gifts is as equally important to me. I like to reuse paper, or wrap in fabric, or decorate butcher paper or paper bags. And never bows! This year, for one family of lovely women, I wrote out their family motto on butcher paper. They were thrilled opening that package!
Galentine’s day
This Valentine's Day I focused on friendship. My son's first grade class is calling it Friend Party Day, and that feels really appropriate. So I made some “galentines” to send to all my strong women friends. Including my father's elderly neighbor who at 85 lives alone and regularly bakes herself single serving pies from scratch. #selflove
I hope they all love receiving an old fashioned snail mail Valentine!
Rifle Paper Co stamps are perfect for this occasion!
Resist much.
From Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
TO THE STATES.
TO the States or any one of them, or any city of the States, Resist
much, obey little,
Once unquestioning obedience, once fully enslaved,
Once fully enslaved, no nation, state, city of this earth, ever after-
ward resumes its liberty.